Thank You for the No

I think we all have experienced rejection in one way or another. With humility, I admit I’ve struggled with rejection. For most of my life, rejection has meant there is something wrong with me. I’m not good enough, I’m a failure, I’m not smart enough or strong enough or (haha) short enough. I am not enough.

See, without Christ, all of that is true (okay maybe not the height thing). But Romans 8:12-17 assures us that we are adopted sons and daughters of Abba Father. On my own, I am not enough, but with the Father, I have everything I need. My identity is in who Jesus says I am, not who I assume I am based on circumstances that are out of my control.

Last summer, I decided to apply for what I thought was my dream job. My interview went really well and the hiring manager told me I would make a great fit and gave me a potential start date. I anxiously awaited the official offer letter for weeks. One night at work, I received an automated HR email informing me that I was not selected for that position with no explanation as to why. When I tell you I was crushed, I was CRUSHED. I was hurt and confused and honestly really throwing myself a pity party.

When I got to my car in the morning, “Thank You for the No” by Tasha Layton was the first song on my Spotify. It felt like a cruel way for God to say good morning. I was in no way thankful for the rejection. How could I have been given so much hope for something I wanted so badly, then be expected to be grateful when that hope was stripped away?

But y’all, let me tell you, I’m so thankful for that no now, almost a year later. Have you met my girls Lindsey and Tulsi? They have been the most incredible friends who I would never had gotten the opportunity to get to know if I had left my floor and started over when I thought was the best time.

We’re all told that things happen for a reason, to trust the process, and believe we’ll get where we’re meant to go when it’s time. But who wants to believe that when you can’t see the light at the seemingly never-ending tunnel? Not me!! Thankfully we have a savior who is faithful and just. Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we cannot see. How cool is that? We serve a God who is trustworthy to bring to completion all the things he started and all the things we can’t see or even imagine.

In the last year, God has proved to me over and over and over again that the wait is so worth it. That there really is hope past the rejection and the feelings of not being enough. In this situation, I call that proof Lenzy and Tuls and I will be forever grateful for who they are and how they show up in my world. I have learned so much about the truth of who I am in Christ and what that means for my life.

Rejection is a dark place for many of us, but God shines his light in that darkness time and time again. Sometimes that light turns into a friendship of three very different weirdos. And that light will never diminish.